How to identify a gujarati?

I received a forward from cousin on – How to identify an Indian. Based on that I have come up with sysptoms of being gujarati.

Enjoy!

  1. Everything you eat is savoured in sugar.
  2. You reuse gift wrappers and boxes at least twice.
  3. You do not know what is aluminium foil.
  4. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases with too many small ones all around your body at the Airport.
  5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and expect host to behave as if you are early.
  6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
  7. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts – and everybody knows about it and considers you good for that.
  8. All your children have funny pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
  9. You take snacks anywhere it says ‘No Food Allowed’ .
  10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
  11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible. Still, everybody is okay. If somebody refuses to sit in full car, that is considered arrogance.
  12. You try to keep wrapper plastic that comes with anything new in your house whether it’s the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch. Note these new things are convered in that plastic.
  13. Your parents tell you how to do ‘everything’.
  14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions. On special occastion, you do not use them so that they can be kept for show.
  15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table which moves if you move anything on table.
  16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage. You throw these bags anywhere you feel like.
  17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of (smaller and smaller) bowls as possible.
  18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils. Approximatelly, half of these are got free with purchase of other stuff.
  19. Your mother forces you to carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
  20. You own a pressure cooker.
  21. You diplomatically plan to make sure somebody else pays dinner bill.
  22. You live with your parents. Neither your parents nor you want otherwise to be separated.
  23. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking, though you use smallest utensil to make sure amount food looks less to guests (so that they eat less!).
  24. You take pride in breaking a queue.
  25. You can only travel if there are at least 10 persons (some of them distant relatives) to see you off or receive you. If there are less persons, you feel alone.
  26. If it is is NOT your issue, you always take interest in it, analyze it etc and feel proud to spread it at velocity of more than speed of light.
  27. Your wedding gifts are mostly in cash with a one rupee coin added to the note in a cover.
  28. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
  29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.
  30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.
  31. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
  32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
  33. It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
  34. All your Tupperware is stained with food colour.
  35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
  36. You have mastered the art of bargaining (Not only in shopping!).
  37. When you go to restaurant, you make sure to take all tooth picks.
  38. When you go to Hotel, you make sure to take all consumables. You think that you have paid for it and it is your right.
  39. You speak Gujlish (Gujarati + English).
  40. If your mothers sees you after few days, she feels your health is not good.
  41. If you meet two more Gujaratis, your volume become very loud automatically.
  42. You go to any commercial establishment, you tend to try to speak in Hindi, even if opposite party is Gujarati.
  43. You can always find a fault in best of airports, best of hotels, best of shops etc.
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Comments 2

  1. Tanmay wrote:

    Hilarious! I now realise, some of these things are so true to us Gujarati’s.

    We are unique and will remain so for ages to come, I believe!

    Posted 15 Sep 2008 at 12:55 pm
  2. Ha ha ha ha wrote:

    I am gujju and this is all true.

    Posted 29 Aug 2010 at 5:38 pm

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